In the future....
-
Money will be printed on potato chips-- Attacks of the munchies will devour a week's pay.
-
Truth-in-advertising laws will be enforced on movie ads--
Numerous claims of "the scariest Sci-Fi thriller ever" will be changed to "better than 'Freejack."
-
Psychologists will identify first case of "Lenophobia"-- The rare condition is characterized by an irrational fear of being poked in the eye by an anvil-shaped chin.
-
Strapped for cash, the Military will open secret installations as Theme Parks-- Visitors to the infamous Hanger 18 who finally see the recovered UFO will react "Star Tours was better."
-
Boredom will be a valid criminal defense-- In our increasingly
over-stimulated world, many will escape punishment by pleading
"Nothing else to do, your Honor."
-
Life will have screen-savers-- Anytime a person is idle for a
minute, his vision will fill with meaningless imagery. Kind of
like watching TV.
-
Film historians will discover that prior to his fame in
"Steamboat Willie" Mickey Mouse starred in porno flick "Reamboat Willie-- Rather than playing "Turkey in the Straw" on the barnyard
animals, Mickey plays "Choke the Chicken" with them.
-
Tomorrow will be another day-- Another day, another potato
chip.
And, as always...
- The present will be the past-- And, of
course, the future will be the present. There will be no
future.
Visit the 7/25/95 Future
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