In the future....
-
Anthropologists will locate Noah's Ark-- Finding it will be a simple matter of following a two-by-two trail of droppings.
-
Street-Fighter-type video games will be replaced by
Negotiation games-- Infinitely more challenging, it takes kids weeks of play to master the triple-button-push, left-right-up joystick move that causes the Kissinger character to offer
Detente.
-
The alphabet will be replaced by punctuation marks-- !@&#:
:-:;" , &?:! ?` ;!!.
-
Sesame Street will be renamed Canola Street-- The revamped show will have less fat.
-
Michael Jordan will leave basketball for synchronized
swimming-- A spate of celebrities turning to Olympic sports follows, climaxing in Seigfried & Roy competing in the two-man
luge.
-
Money will actually talk-- Microscopic sample-playback chips
allow George Washington to say "What are ya, a communist? Spend me already!"
-
Gasoline will come in designer fragrances-- Arty gasoline ads prod drivers to "Fill 'er up with Jontue."
-
What goes around will come around-- The early bird will catch the worm.
And, as always...
- The present will be the past-- And, of
course, the future will be the present. There will be no
future.
Visit the 7/14/95 Future
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