In the future....
-
The speed of light will be reduced to 55mph-- Sure it'll wreak
havoc with the Laws of Physics, but it'll save lives.
-
Great art will come in aerosol cans-- One spray and the user's
walls can be covered by a DaVinci, Van Gogh, or Matisse. Those who
don't first clean the nozzles end up with Jackson Pollocks.
-
Magnetic media will replace all paper-- Going to the bathroom will be particularly difficult, giving a new meaning to the phrase
"wiping a disk."
-
Drugs will have more specific side-effects-- Rather than causing mere drowsiness, cold tablets will cause users to don kilts and race down the street on mopeds, yelling, "All men die, but not every man really lives!"
-
Stock-market volatility will allow the Amish to buyout Intel--
Their new orchestra-hall-sized, windmill-powered, mechanical
"microprocessor" will be more accurate than Pentium.
-
Restaurants will be themed like airplane interiors-- Patrons
will pay premium prices to crush into tiny seats and choose from
two microwaved entrees. Every two hours or so, the entire
restaurant will shake in simulated turbulence.
-
Kevin Costner will market his own cologne, "Flopsweat"-- The slogan: "The scent worn by Wyatt Earp!"
-
What went up will come down-- The spinnin' wheel will spin
around.
And, as always...
- The present will be the past-- And, of
course, the future will be the present. There will be no
future.
Visit the 7/7/95 Future
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