In the future....
-
All foods will be made into jerky-- The Chic will stroll along
Rodeo Drive while chawin' on big hunks o' caviar.
-
Hertz will rent super powers-- Those who choose psychokinesis
must shell out for the damage waiver.
-
Paul McCartney will admit that he has, in fact, been dead
since 1965-- But, he explains, his body cannot rest until it owns
the publishing rights to every Top-Ten hit.
-
Warner's "Placebo" will be the feel-good movie of the year--
The film won't really be entertaining, but people will think it
is.
-
Asexual harrassment will be a crime-- Deemed a form of
descrimination, millions will be arrested for not making advances
toward the unappealing.
-
Wristwatch-sized Karma indicators will let people know when
their luck is running out-- The youth version, the Santa
Claus-O-Meter, helps keep kids in line.
-
Boyz II Men will drop their hip-hop-doo-wop sound and become a
nihilistic industrial band-- They'll call themselves Men II
Corpsyz.
-
Shane will come back-- MacArthur will return.
And, as always...
- The present will be the past-- And, of
course, the future will be the present. There will be no
future.
Visit the 6/29/95 Future
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